Jamison found a way to deal with her manic-depressive illness. She states, “I had learned to accommodate quite well to them. I had developed mechanisms of self-control, to keep down the peals of singularly inappropriate laughter, and set rigid limits on my irritability. I avoided situations that might otherwise trip or jangle my hypersensitive wiring and I learned to pretend I was paying attention or following a logical point when my mind was off chasing rabbits in a thousand directions.” (eBook 80). Jamison finally came to a point where she realize that something is definitely wrong with her and she realizes her off behavior. “My thoughts were so fast that I couldn’t remember the beginning of a sentence hallway through.” (eBook 80). I am sure this must have been very hard and frustrating for her. I get frustrated when I misplace something, imagine if I can’t remember what I just, I’ll go crazy. “Nothing once familiar to me was familiar. I wanted desperately to slow down but could not.” (eBook 80). Similarly, The Shaking Woman was aware of her shaking and Jamison is aware that her brain is working too fast for her. “At one point I was determined that if my mind by which I made my living and whose stability I had assumed for so many years—did not stop racing and begin working normally again, I would kill myself by jumping from a nearby twelve-story building.” (eBook 81). Jamison got to the point where she couldn’t take it no more, she even consider suicide. However, after taking drugs such as Thorazine, Lithium and Valium her mind began to slow down.
Jamison, An Unquiet Mind
- Wearing make up and talking at a party = Mania
- Prompt for Informal Writing and Discussion for Today’s Class
This must had been a difficult and long journey. Just thinking about it and trying to feel/ think what she was makes me have goosebumps. This also leads one to think about children in this kind of state. This is so frustrating for an adult, to think of what this feels like for a child is surreal.
I like the point where you mention about her struggle, at some point she just want to give up and end everything. I think these kinds of feelings are normal for Jamison, its part of human nature. Even though when I am really frustrated I just want to yell out so loud and hit something, but at that time I don’t realize what I am doing when I calm down then I realize how I was behaving. I think a similar thing happen to Jamison when she was in the situation she doesn’t know what she was doing at that point. It just happens automatically.
I think it’s interesting how you’ve interpreted Jamison’s medication as a way of her managing her illness. We see not only in Jamison’s book but also more prominently in Forney’s “Marbles” that it is quite common to actually shy from taking medication and carry a sense of denial in the first phase of accepting a mental illness. This makes me wonder if Jamison actually successfully manages her mania or if she just succumbs to the inevitable dulling that medication is accompanied by.